I realize the commercial factors involved in every real, and quasi, holiday in the United States. I totally get it. However, what I don't get is the timing of it all. I really need someone to explain to me why the day after Halloween we have Christmas items hitting store shelves. Did I miss something here? Isn't there another major holiday stashed in there between them? Sure, Thanksgiving isn't quite the commercial megaholiday that Halloween and Christmas are, but it's still there, sitting almost exactly in the middle. It's real, it happens, I've been there for it 30 times already. Why, then, is it necessary for me to walk into any retailer on November 1st and see aisles of Christmas decorations from floor to ceiling? Give me one holiday at a time, let's not get carried away and get ahead of ourselves here. I want to be able to cram enough turkey and stuffing into my body that I can't move for several hours first, then go Christmas shopping, not vice versa.
Now, I'm sure I'm going to get some shit for this, and that's fine. Someone has to say this, because I know a lot of you are thinking it, and I mean both you ladies and you guys out there. Tom Brady's hair is freaking magnificent! I mean, that bastard has a beautiful head of hair. Now, perhaps I say this because the best I can grow on my 31 year old head is about what a 6 week old baby has, or perhaps it is because it is just plain awesome. Besides, for all you haters out there, if any of you got Giselle drunk enough to marry you, you would pretty much do anything she wants, and if she wanted you to have long, flowing locks, you better believe you would be going shaggy as fast as possible!
Back to the Christmas thing, when does everyone put their decorations up? Growing up, our family tradition was to put everything up the day after Thanksgiving. My sister, mother and I would be bouncing around the house, filled with all sorts of the "Christmas spirit", while my father would just shake his head at us until about the 20th of December, when he finally joined the rest of us. To me, any earlier than that is simply wrong, but beyond that, it's kind of a fire hazard, right? I mean, that's a long time to hook electricity up to a drying piece of timber, isn't it?! Why not just use candles like the old days, I mean, no quicker way to start a fire than with actual fire! I'm just saying...
About Me
- Mark
- I've always wondered if people actually read this stuff. I never do when I'm on other pages. Well, in case, for some strange reason, you find it necessary, I'll give you a little knowledge. I was born in The County. For those of you who don't konw better, that would be Aroostook County. For those of you who do, your jokes won't work on me, they are lame. I'm the son of an investment banker that squandered his every penny on tuna fish sandwiches in the late 80's, and my mother was the lead singer for the Bangles. Neither of those is true, but again, I'm convinced nobody is reading this anyways. I met my wife at a carnival, and we were married by the bearded lady in front of the entire clown brigade. I have a daughter who is training for the 2012 Olympics where she will compete in the Triple Jump and Javelin. We live in a nice little shanty in the woods and are hoping to one day have running water. Any questions?
