Your daily reminder that you have it better than others...

If I'm ever feeling down in the dumps, I like to go to Wal-Mart.  No, not because I can "Save Money, Live Better", but because you are guaranteed to see at least half a dozen (conservative number, it's more like two dozen) people that will make you feel so much better about yourself.  Don't believe me?  Try it.  Some Friday night or Saturday morning, when you have nothing else to do, take a ride to your local Wal-Mart.  Walk around the store for 20 minutes, and you will leave feeling better about yourself than you have in a long time.  If, for some reason, that doesn't help, check this site out...

Now, if that doesn't work, another thing I try is reading the local news.  Well, the following story would certainly help me feel a little better.  A Portland man was arrested over the weekend for allegedly attacking his roommate (and drinking buddy) with a hammer.  The older roommate, 60, decided to beat his younger roommate with a hammer because they got into a fight over "who was crazier".  I'm not making this up!  I wonder if they ever determined who the winner was before one went for a ride in the cop car and the other in an ambulance?  I don't know about you, but the suspense is killing me!

If neither of the above mentioned methods work, I go for a walk.  Chances are pretty good, especially in a more populated area, that someone will do something that helps you put things in perspective a little bit.  For example, there is the guy in this picture.  This is an actual picture, submitted by faithful reader Dawn in Alexandria, VA, taken in the middle of the afternoon.  Dude is passed out drunk, and it is way too early in the day to be in this bad of shape.    Don't get me wrong, I've been drunk in public before.  Heck, I've been drunk in the same neighboorhood this guy is in.  Fortunately for me, I  have never provided anyone with a great picture like this.  Thanks, big guy, I feel better already!

As you can see, there is no reason to feel sorry for yourself.  There are always ways to make yourself feel much better.  As the saying goes, it could always be worse.  Unless, of course, you find yourself wearing a mesh shirt and thong to Wal-Mart, beat your roommate with a hammer, or make an ass of yourself in public.  If that's the case, I've got nothing for you.  I'm just saying...

What do you think of when I say the word "chain"?

Chain.  Not the type of fence.  Not that letter you used to get when you were a kid.  Not that thing you use to tie someone to the bed so that you can, oh, wait, sorry about that.  I'm talking about chain restaurants.  You know what I mean.  McDonald's is a chain.  Subway is a chain.  Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks are chains.  Many of these chains can be found in Portland's historic Old Port District.  We frequent them often to get our caffeine fix or for a quick sandwich at lunch time.  Well, it sounds like we are adding a new chain to the mix, and one that will do quite well, I think.  Five Guys Burgers and Fries will be taking over the location that has seen such hot spots as Diggers and, more recently, Prost.  What is Five Guys you ask?  Well, it's a burger and fry joint that will put a hurting to Bill's Pizza as the crowd from the Old Port looks for some food to soak up all that booze.  Cool, right?  I mean, heck yeah.  It's about 30 feet from where I park my car every day for work, so I'm sure I'll check it out from time to time.  However, I also have a slight problem with this.  Let me explain...

Do you remember, about 4 years ago, when Hooters wanted to move to Portland, and move into the location that is now Binga's Stadium?  Everyone knows about Hooters, right?  It's the restaurant made famous for its chicken wings and female servers in tightly clad shorts and t-shirts.  If I'm not mistaken, Maine is only 1 of 4 states in the entire country that doesn't have a Hooters.  Well, the fine city of Portland decided to keep it that way, by voting 6–3 to impose a moratorium on formula restaurants in that part of the city for a couple of months.  The moratorium only applies to chains that have at least 30 restaurants in the United States.  In other words, the mere idea of a Hooters scared the city so bad they made up a horse shit excuse to keep it out.  Let's ignore the fact that there are 2 Starbucks, 3 Dunkin Donuts, a Subway, and I'm sure other chains in this same area.  Now, just a few years later, it's totally cool to bring in a new chain. 

Can someone explain to me the rationale here?  I know that it is because the city was scared about the idea of a Hooters.  I'm curious if any of the 9 members of the City Council that voted have ever been to one before.  It's not like you are walking into a strip club and hookers are carrying buckets of wings around in their cleavage.  It's not even close to that.  I've been to many places that allow their wait staff to wear whatever they want, and it's been much more revealing than the Hooter's uniform.  I'm not advocating for a Hooters, that's not at all my point.  I'm just annoyed by the fact that we have a down town that is full of chains, and is welcoming new ones still, but denied bringing a business that would have brought with it 50 or more jobs, all because they didn't want chains in the Old Port.  It's cool, we don't need the jobs, don't worry.  I'm just saying...

Another day, another handful of questions...

Sort of following up from yesterday, I am sitting here, with many more questions than answers still.  According to responders, anti-gun people need to agree that responsible people should be allowed to own guns (which is already the case) and that high capacity ammunition guns are not necessary, but banning them would just piss people off, so we need to hope things just get better on there own.  It turns out that people agree that Sarah Palin is in need of spending some time at home, far, far away from the cameras, Twitter and Facebook.  As for Paul LePage, people think we just need to ignore him and hope that he doesn't completely destroy the state of Maine.  I have to be honest, I'm not real excited by any of these responses.  Anyway, I have some new questions today.  Here we go...

The House of Representatives just passed the repeal of the new health care bill.  Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but this doesn't stand a chance of passing the Senate, and there isn't a snowballs chance in hell that President Obama will sign off on a repeal, so why are they wasting their time with this?  Wouldn't it behoove them, especially since a growing number of the American people don't want to repeal it, to spend time trying to create jobs, which is the number one priority of the American people?  Shouldn't our politicians, those that our supposed to be representing us, stop wasting time going down a dead end road and do something more constructive?  How about taking pieces of the Affordable Health Care Act and making them better?  Repealing it does no good if you have no backup plan in place.  Do Republicans really want to deny people with pre-existing conditions?  Do they really want to deny coverage on family plans to children up to the age of 26?  And why do they not believe the figures the CBO is tossing out on this issue, but they do on other issues? 

Do women find it sexy when men bathe in cologne?  I understand wanting to smell good, it makes sense.  However, smelling like a whore house isn't attractive, is it?  We've all had a co-worker that didn't know when to stop applying the "sure shag", so what are your thoughts?  Is there such a thing as too much cologne, or perfume for that matter? 

Maine has officially joined a multi-state lawsuit challenging the federal health reform act. Maine Attorney General William Schneider says U.S. District Court Judge Roger Vinson approved Maine's request to join the suit, led by the state of Florida.  Correct me if I am wrong, and believe me, I hope I am, but, wouldn't it be wise to stay out of this?  Governor LePage claims to be fiscally responsible, someone that will cut costs to help Maine get out of the red.  So, with Maine joining this lawsuit, won't we spend a fair chunk of change?  Will us joining the suit increase the chances of winning this lawsuit?  Wouldn't Maine be further ahead to stay out of it, and hope the result works out the way LePage and his team want it to, thus costing Maine nothing?  I don't want any part of this for a couple of reasons.  I don't want to challenge the health care reform act, and I don't want to spend money for no reason, when our inclusion in this lawsuit won't guarantee anything.  Someone let me know if I missed something, please...

I'm sure tomorrow will bring more questions along with it.  Thanks to everyone who plays along.  Oh, and don't forget, call me Mr. Vice President.  I'm just saying...

A running list of questions I have today...

I've been quiet for a while.  Now, there are a few reasons for this.  Weather and work have kept me very busy.  Also, I've been trying to digest some of the recent news, both locally and nationally, before I gave my position on things.  Well, I'm ready to react, but, to be honest, I have more questions than anything else.  Here we go...

I'm not a gun person, but I understand that the right to bear arms is a constituted right.  Without giving me talking points, which I can get on Fox News, what is the need for all of these massive guns with giant magazines holding many rounds of ammunition?  Is it necessary for me to be able to purchase an Uzi, which can shoot off 600 rounds per minute?  What sort of crazy animal are people trying to hunt?  I feel like there is really no reasonable need to have these, or others like them, available in the marketplace.  Can somebody please explain this to me?  While we are on the subject of guns, why do you need to carry them in public?  I know you have the right, but why do you NEED to do it?  I have the right to troll the high school parking lot for 18 year old girls to bring home with me, but it doesn't mean I'm going to!

Why do Governor LePage supporters not only give him a free pass with each lie, but also applaud his inability to think before he talks?  Have we lowered our standards so much that any way we get Maine into the national spotlight is a good thing?  His latest comment, "kiss my butt", which was made in reference to the NAACP, just a day before Martin Luther King Day, made national headlines.  I'm sorry, but that is not cool.  Please make headlines for doing positive things for Mainers, not for being a foul mouthed knucklehead.  Please Mr. LePage, try being honest and thoughtful, even if it is just for the next four years. 

Why does Sarah Palin always think she is the victim?  Nobody is blaming her for the shooting in Arizona.  Yes, it has been brought up that using crosshairs on a map that targeted Giffords' district was in bad taste, but it wasn't the reason the congresswoman, and others, were shot.  Instead of putting forward an 8 minute video that tried to make us feel bad for Palin, why couldn't she have admitted that, while others have done similar things in the past, she realizes the crosshairs map was in bad taste and she wishes Giffords a speedy recovery?  Why couldn't she use her platform to ask others to speak and act more civily when discussing points of disagreement?  Oh, and can we stop calling her Governor Palin!?  She quit that post.  I was my high school class Vice President, so if we are going to call her Governor Palin, I expect you all to call me Mr. Vice President from now on, thanks.

Again, if someone can give me some answers on this, I would be very grateful.  I've talked to a few people, but I just get talking points.  I have lots of other questions, but I'll keep it at that today.  I look forward to some reasonable thoughts and ideas.  Let me have it people!  I'm just saying...

Positive thoughts = good outcomes

As many of you faithful readers know, my father was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer.  We got the word the Tuesday before Christmas, and I really struggled with how to deal with it.  I don't know much about cancer, but I know that any time you can associate that word with someone, it's not something I want to mess with.  I also know that seeing my father in anything but a position of power is hard for me to deal with.  I remember back when I was younger, and my father had his gallbladder removed.  I cried so hard seeing him slowly walk around the hospital in his johnny.  My dad is, and always will be, a big, strong man.  Seeing him in pain is really hard for me to handle. 

Well, yesterday was the day he was going in to have his prostate removed.  I was anxious, and nervous for this day.  We would know more once the surgeon opened dad up and looked around.  Up to this point, we knew very little.  We knew that they found cancerous cells on his prostate, but we didn't know if his lymph nodes were affected, or if the cancer had spread.  We got to spend some time with dad before they knocked him out and wheeled him off, and then spent the rest of the day in the waiting room.  Four hours felt more like twenty four hours, but, finally, the surgeon came into the waiting room.  His face had me bracing for the worst possible news, but his words were the very opposite.  I was originally filled with mixed emotions, until I was able to process what he actually said to us.  Everything came back fine, his prostate was removed, his lymph nodes were fine, and he was in good shape!  We collectively jumped out of our seats with humongous smiles on our faces.  What a relief!

I know that many of you have gone through similar situations with family members, but I have one, very important thing to say to you all.  We have the greatest family and friends in the world!  We didn't say a whole lot publicly, having very little time between finding out and the surgery itself, but you all had us overwhelmed by your kind words and prayers.  I got messages from all sorts of people, from parent's of high school friends, to co-workers from former employers.  I am eternally grateful for how amazing all of you are.  I truly believe that between the strength of my amazing father, and the wonderful words and positive vibes you sent his way, he was able to kick cancer's ass!  Thank you all for being the greatest friends and family a guy could ever ask for!  I'm just saying...

Newsworthy or not, you decide...

One could argue that the media makes something out of nothing on a regular basis.  I mean, they want viewership, they need to have something interesting to put out there.  Granted, they report on actual news from time to time, but it's usually garbage that they sell to us as stories.  Well, in scouring the web, I've come across some stories, some may be newsworthy, others are not, but they caught my attention for one reason or another.  Here you go...

U.S. Olympian Johnny Weir discloses his sexual orientation in his new book, and guess what, he's gay!  Who would have thought that this over the top, completely flamboyant, male figure skater would turn out to be gay.  I, for one, am completely shocked!  Seriously though, he came out, officially, in hopes that his story would inspire others.  I am hopeful that this news will inspire Ryan Seacrest to finally come out of the closet as well...

Hundreds of birds fell to the ground, dead, in Arkansas.  150 tons of red tilapia are found in Vietnam.  40,000 crabs washed up, dead, on shore in the UK.  Two million fish found dead on Maryland coast.  Holy crap, the Mayans were wrong, the world is ending in 2011, not 2012!  Everybody prepare yourself!  Oh, wait, what's that, this sort of thing is actually normal, it just goes undetected.  Oh, and fFederal records show they happen on average every other day somewhere in North America. Usually, we don't notice them and don't try to link them to each other.  Damnit, I guess I'll have to calm down, for now anyways...

Deena, the newest member of the Jersey Shore house gets in a fight, almost as soon as she walks in the door.  Let me be the first to say, I don't watch this garbage, and I really dont' give a rat's ass.  If you do, I'm sorry.  No, actually, I'm not.  I enjoy my fair share of mindless television, but this show may actually contribute to the lowering of your intelligence and cause you to act like a douche.  Of course, that is not proven, but I'm confident that it will one day be true.  I'm hoping to one day be elected to Congress so I can introduce a bill that will fund the study.  Hey, we all have to have a dream to make a dream come true.

House Speaker, John Boehner, on smoking: "I am who I am".  That's right Johnny circus peanut, you tell 'em!  Look, just because he thinks that President Obama should quit smoking, doesn't mean he should have to.  Do I need to remind you again that Republicans are exempt from all the things they criticize Democrats for?  Come on people, you should know better by now.  Plus, I think we need to leave John boy alone, he may end up crying again, and his poor tear ducts can't handle that much activity!

Like I said earlier, some things are newsworthy, others are deemed newsworthy by the media, and we are forced into hearing about it 24/7.  Here's hoping you all sit at home all weekend and soak all this amazing "news" in!  I'm just saying...

Wait, when did Maine stop being the way life should be?!

We've all seen it, it's really hard to miss.  It is one of the first things we see as we climb up Interstate 95, just a short distance after we hit solid ground, this side of the big bridge from the Granite State.  It is a giant blue sign that reads "MAINE  The Way Life Should Be".  Well, it's a new day, and with that comes a new sign.  That's right, with the inauguration of Republican Governor, Paul LePage, yesterday, a new sign will now take the place of the once familiar, and welcoming site.  "Open For Business" reads the new sign.  It's meant to represent the new, business friendly environment that Governor LePage is hoping to get across during his tenure in office in Augusta.  However, I'm not sure I like the idea of replacing the former sign. 

First of all, I'm all for business.  I want nothing more than to see new businesses come to this state and to see all businesses thrive here.  Maine needs to be more business friendly in order to keep our children here.  With so few options, many people are leaving the state, and it's really hard to blame them.  The cost of running a business today is astronomical, with the high price of energy and health insurance, it's damn near impossible to open and maintain a small business.  I work with a handful of small businesses, and the story is the same for all of them.  While I didn't vote for LePage, and to be honest, I'm worried that he may have a negative affect on Maine, I'm hopeful that he stays true to his promise to lower many costs and do everything he can to give businesses in Maine, both new and old, a fighting chance to not only stay open, but thrive.  That said, I'm totally against him putting this new sign up in Kittery. 

Sure, from a business standpoint, Maine is not the way life should be, it's quite the opposite.  However, with tourism such a vital part of the Maine economy, I just find it in bad taste to remove such a welcoming and familiar sign to those driving in from New Hampshire.  From a tourism point of view, Maine is absolutely the way life should be.  Whether you snowmobile, hike, ski, camp, fish, shop or just want to get away from it all, there is no better place in the world to go.  I have lived in Maine for the better part of my 31 years on this earth, and there is no place I would rather be.  Let's hope Governor LePage doesn't do anything to change that.  I'm just saying...

Local news = local idiots...

One thing I love about reading the local news is that I realize I am a whole lot smarter than a lot of people out there.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I always knew that, but it's good to get some random reminders here and there.  Now, this isn't to say I haven't done my share of dumb things.  I've been at the wrong place at the wrong time before, and there was that one time I got to ride in a police car growing up, but overall, I've kept my nose pretty clean.  The following people, however, I can't say the same for...

* Police say they caught the man who robbed a Rite Aid in Naples nearly eight months ago.  Back in May,  a  male entered the Rite Aid on Roosevelt Trail in Naples and handed the pharmacist a note, demanding drugs and claimed to be armed.  Well, nearly seven months to the day later, the Wells Police Department caught the suspect, 21-year-old Jessie Arthur Lavalle, hiding under a bed on Wednesday.  I wonder how long this fool was hiding under his bed?!

* Authorities say they arrested a Canton man Tuesday after two of his pit bulls allegedly attacked a pet llama in Monmouth.  The Monmouth animal control officer says 33-year-old Corey Lamontagne is facing two counts of owning a dangerous dog, two counts of having unlicensed dogs and two counts of having dogs at large.  The animal control officer says Lamontagne was visiting friends last week near the farm where the llama is kept when he let the dogs out of his car and they took off and attacked the llama. Police say he took off with the dogs without checking on the llama or its owner.  Lamontagne has since made bail and is out of the Androscoggin County Jail Lamontagne has been allowed to keep his dogs, but under conditions that the dogs remain on his property, restrained and muzzled.  I know, I know, pit bulls are really a nice dog.  It was the llama's fault, right pit bull owners?  Look, if you own a dog that has a tendency to attack living things, maybe you should just toss a leash on them, or is that too much to ask?

* Woman says she was kidnapped and forced into prostitution.  Two women and a man are being held on $100,000 bail in York County Jail. Police say they are exploring charges of aggravated promotion of prostitution.  Saco police were called to the Sunrise Motel at 4 a.m. Monday after receiving a call about a man and a woman fighting in an adjoining room.  Police found eight to 10 people in the room and called for backup from Old Orchard Beach police.  Police obtained a search warrant for the room and a 2001 BMW sport utility vehicle, seizing records, cellular telephones, computers and cash. Police impounded the car.  I love the entrepreneurial spirit these morons had, but, perhaps you should look at a new line of work.  Last time I checked, prostitution was illegal in Maine. 

The great thing here is, this was all just news from this week, and it's only Wednesday!  Once again, I want to personally thank all these fools for making me feel much better about myself.  Here's hoping that the rest of the week makes us all feel better!  I'm just saying...

New year, new resolutions to break, right?

Here we are, starting another year. There is nothing like it. The feeling of a fresh start, a chance to get things right. We always set goals for ourselves and plan to do this or that, and then we look back, a year later, and beat ourselves up for our lack of discipline or our inability to follow through with the previous years resolution. This year is different we always say, I'm gonna stick with it, I swear. But we never do. And here we are, starting the whole, silly, process all over again. So what is it this year, going to the gym more? Eating better? Making more money?

Let's be honest, those aren't resolutions, they are goals we all have. Resolutions should be farther reaching, more life changing desires, in my opinion. For example, this year, I want to orchestrate at least one large fund raiser. Why a large fundraiser you ask. It's simple, I want to help make a difference in someone elses life, other than my own. Sure, I could donate some old gloves or a jacket to a local charity, but I want to do more than that.

Now, I'm going to tell you a story, and I'm not even sure how to approach this. See, I just recently found out that my father has prostate cancer. I got the news on the Tuesday before Christmas. I had known he had gone in for some tests and that he had an appointment to find out his results. I knew they wouldn't invite him in for a champagne toast for coming back clean, so I was bracing for his phone call that evening. I listened to his voicemail as I was leaving Kerrigan's basketball practice, and called him back as soon as we got home. It was as I had suspected, he needed surgery to try to kick it, and he wanted to get it done quickly, put the whole thing behind him. I couldn't agree with him more. Get in, get it dealt with, and get back on with life. Am I a bit freaked out by the whole thing, absolutely. Have I wiped a tear or two from my face at the most random of times since finding out, you bet. But, what I am hanging my hat on is that my dad is the strongest person I know, and he will be back on his feet in no time at all.

Anyways, the reason I tell you this is because this has inspired me to try to do more for the people around me. Nobody is immune to cancer, it can and will happen to many of us. If I can put together a charity event that helps to both raise money and awareness, then I'm doing my part to help. I hope that many of you out there can help me raise money when the time comes, or are able to do your part to make the world a better place, because that is what our New Year's Resolutions should be all about. I'm just saying...