One thing I love about reading the local news is that I realize I am a whole lot smarter than a lot of people out there. I mean, don't get me wrong, I always knew that, but it's good to get some random reminders here and there. Now, this isn't to say I haven't done my share of dumb things. I've been at the wrong place at the wrong time before, and there was that one time I got to ride in a police car growing up, but overall, I've kept my nose pretty clean. The following people, however, I can't say the same for...
* Police say they caught the man who robbed a Rite Aid in Naples nearly eight months ago. Back in May, a male entered the Rite Aid on Roosevelt Trail in Naples and handed the pharmacist a note, demanding drugs and claimed to be armed. Well, nearly seven months to the day later, the Wells Police Department caught the suspect, 21-year-old Jessie Arthur Lavalle, hiding under a bed on Wednesday. I wonder how long this fool was hiding under his bed?!
* Authorities say they arrested a Canton man Tuesday after two of his pit bulls allegedly attacked a pet llama in Monmouth. The Monmouth animal control officer says 33-year-old Corey Lamontagne is facing two counts of owning a dangerous dog, two counts of having unlicensed dogs and two counts of having dogs at large. The animal control officer says Lamontagne was visiting friends last week near the farm where the llama is kept when he let the dogs out of his car and they took off and attacked the llama. Police say he took off with the dogs without checking on the llama or its owner. Lamontagne has since made bail and is out of the Androscoggin County Jail Lamontagne has been allowed to keep his dogs, but under conditions that the dogs remain on his property, restrained and muzzled. I know, I know, pit bulls are really a nice dog. It was the llama's fault, right pit bull owners? Look, if you own a dog that has a tendency to attack living things, maybe you should just toss a leash on them, or is that too much to ask?
* Woman says she was kidnapped and forced into prostitution. Two women and a man are being held on $100,000 bail in York County Jail. Police say they are exploring charges of aggravated promotion of prostitution. Saco police were called to the Sunrise Motel at 4 a.m. Monday after receiving a call about a man and a woman fighting in an adjoining room. Police found eight to 10 people in the room and called for backup from Old Orchard Beach police. Police obtained a search warrant for the room and a 2001 BMW sport utility vehicle, seizing records, cellular telephones, computers and cash. Police impounded the car. I love the entrepreneurial spirit these morons had, but, perhaps you should look at a new line of work. Last time I checked, prostitution was illegal in Maine.
The great thing here is, this was all just news from this week, and it's only Wednesday! Once again, I want to personally thank all these fools for making me feel much better about myself. Here's hoping that the rest of the week makes us all feel better! I'm just saying...
About Me
- Mark
- I've always wondered if people actually read this stuff. I never do when I'm on other pages. Well, in case, for some strange reason, you find it necessary, I'll give you a little knowledge. I was born in The County. For those of you who don't konw better, that would be Aroostook County. For those of you who do, your jokes won't work on me, they are lame. I'm the son of an investment banker that squandered his every penny on tuna fish sandwiches in the late 80's, and my mother was the lead singer for the Bangles. Neither of those is true, but again, I'm convinced nobody is reading this anyways. I met my wife at a carnival, and we were married by the bearded lady in front of the entire clown brigade. I have a daughter who is training for the 2012 Olympics where she will compete in the Triple Jump and Javelin. We live in a nice little shanty in the woods and are hoping to one day have running water. Any questions?
