When is it too early to start drinking?

Have you ever had one of those days where you don't care what time it is, you are in desperate need of an alcoholic beverage of some kind? Sadly, this has been the case way too often lately. The good news is, I have not been giving in to that urge! But it does bring up a few questions though. When is it too early to start drinking, and where would you go when it is time for that delicious beverage? I see it like this...

7:30 AM - Rusky's - White Russian. Popular spot for hospital employees getting done the midnight shift. Decent breakfast, and a tastey Caucasian. Might be a little early for some for a drink, and the place is a little shady, but it works

9:00 AM - Bubba's Sulky Lounge - Allen's Coffee Brandy and milk. Popular spot for homeless and degenerates pretty much any time of day. Waitstaff are nice, and there is more than enough to look at on the walls and ceilings. Place is actually kind of creepy. Not sure which is worse, the patrons or the animals on the walls out back.

12:00 PM - Bull Feeney's - Guinness. Not a bad spot. Food is good, waitstaff and bartenders are great. Owner is a bit of a douchebag, so that could be a major drawback. Actually, let's put it this way, if you see a really tall, balding, goofy looking dude (not me, I know what you are all thinking, this dude is really tall), he is probably the owner, and you should just leave. He will most likely try to fight with you about something and then kick you out for life. He only does this to make himself feel better since he isn't allowed in most of the bars in town due to his douchebaggery. Best bet, drink your Guinness fast and then get the fuck out!

2:00 PM - RiRa - Guinness again. Another good Irish spot. Food is good, and my sister works there, so why not go! You can check out Tejon (our old badger friend) and usually there is a soccer game on the tele. Trivia night on Tuesday nights is a good way to win some schwag and the usual bands are playing, so well worth a visit. Best spinach dip in town (Nichole and I are slightly obsessed!).

4:30 PM - Shay's - Dogfishhead 90 IPA. My favorite beer at my favorite restaurant in town. Food is good, beer is great, and it is just a tiny little spot in the center of town. Good specials all week long. Parking typically sucks, but then again, it does throughout Portland.

7:00 PM - Gritty's - Pub Style. Decent beer, and a good food selection, make this a fine dinner time spot. Seems to fill up as the night goes along, but the picnic style tables make conversing with friends fun, unless of course you don't want to talk to them, in which case just order thier Scottish Ale by the pitcher, you will be drunk before you know it!

9:00 PM - Novare Res - too many to choose from. Hands down my favorite bar in town. Nothing negative to say about it, except that I am spending as much here in a year as my yearly college tuition was(good thing I went to UMPI!).

11:30 PM - Commercial St Pub - Budweiser. Seriously the scariest place I have ever been! I actually throw up in my mouth everytime I drive or walk by this place. Quick story... One morning (this place is packed early!) I was here with some buddies and this frightening lady was sitting across the room in a bar stool. She was sitting there by herself watching Sportscenter like the rest of us. I looked over at her just in time to make eye contact with her before she turned her seat toward me, spread her legs Sharon Stone style and flashed me the beaver. Wow, I just dry heaved writing that! Damnit, I should have never brought that up, nightmares are in my future this evening!

6:00 AM - Matthew's - PBR. Possibly the second scariest place in town. Opens early for true alcoholics. Never actually been, which I don't think is a bad thing. Guess that means that I am not a true alcoholic?!

So, depending on what crowd you are looking to hang out with, there are many options! And it is never too early to start!!!