Shameless self promotion...

I'm not typically one to tell people it's my birthday, especially now that my twenties have passed me by, but I'm going to have fun with the blog today and toss out a bunch of birthday gift ideas for you guys to run right our and get for me. I mean, I don't really need anything, I can't even begin to tell you how blessed I am. I mean, seriously, I have an amazing wife, the greatest daughter, loving family and friends that mean the world to me, and a roof over my head, what the heck more could I ask for? Well, while I don't need anything, I'm going to give ya'll a list of ideas of what to get the guy who has everything he ever wanted...

1. Season tickets to the Red Sox and Celtics. This is a given, right. I mean, how amazing would it be to sit in the stands for each and every home game for my two favorite teams. Short of actually playing for them, this would be the next best thing for me.

2. 2011 Toyota Prius. We plan on getting one at some point, so if ya'll want to just take care of it for us, that would be sweet. Seriously though, with as much driving as we do, this is a must have. I prefer it in charcoal grey with the full navigation system, please and thank you.

3. An RV and tickets to all the Phish concerts this summer. I would love to follow Phish for one summer, and the best way to do it would be in a nice, new RV. I've have never been to The Greek Theatre or Red Rocks or The Gorge, and think it would be an absolutely amazing time seeing Phish play all these incredible venues. If you wanted to toss in a large amount of PBR's, that would be fine too.

4. A riding lawn mower. If you follow the blog you have heard about my mower struggles so far this summer. I attempted to mow again on Sunday, and I am still having issues. I have taken it apart, cleaned it, replaced parts and it still won't work long enough to do the entire lawn. I would love to replace it with a new John Deere rider, with a cup holder of course!

5. An in-ground pool in our backyard with a retractable roof over it. I mean, despite the fact that it is hotter than the hubs of hell outside today, we still live in Maine, and we all know that pool season is much shorter than we would like. If we put in a pool that had a roof over it, it would be able to be used year round, thus improving the resale value of our home at some point down the road. It's a win-win situation. If someone wanted to be our cabana girl (sorry honey!), that would be fine too, would be nice to have someone serve drinks, right!

As you can see, I don't really need much, so sort of ridiculous requests are all I can think of. If anyone has some money burning a hole in their pocket, please feel free to purchase any of the above for me! I'm just saying...

Warm weather makes me wanna go yard saling!

As soon as the weather warms up, people start going thru all their crap, toss a price tag on it, and lug it out to the front yard. We've all done it before and why not, it's a great way to get rid of stuff you don't need or use and you make a few bucks off of it. It's a win-win situation. Conversely, yard sale season is a great time to find a deal. You can always find used appliances, furniture or that missing album from your record collection. There is one problem though... You never go to the yard sale at the home of a sane or "normal" person! Why is it that we have all had a yard sale before, but whenever we go to one, Bobbi-Sue Ellen with her best Nascar shirt on and her 4th husband Ricky, who is yarding down a fresh Budweiser while gumming the lyrics to AC/DC's Back in Black, are running the show?! This little mystery has gone unsolved for me for a long time. Thoughts?

Well, I bring all this up because we stopped into a yard sale this past weekend. We were up in Central Maine visiting my in-laws, and returning from a country ride we happened upon this little yard sale. They mostly had children's clothes, some old country music and ABBA records and a few other odds and ends. My father in-law found a cement mixer, and he was able to haggle with the crazy old bat and get it for a good price. We had them set it aside and promise to be back shortly with a pickup to load it and bring it home. We were back within a couple of hours to load up, and apparently in the time we were gone the whole hillbilly clan showed up! The "lady" of the house and her toothless side kick were right there helping us load the mixer into the truck. In the 5 minutes it took us to get it loaded, I learned that the crazy "lady" once pointed a gun at her husband's head because he came home early without calling and walked in on her and someone else! She also made sure to let us know that if she aims it, she intends to use it, which is really good to know for future references, I guess?!

All that being said, I still think yard sales are great. I mean, where else can you buy somebody else's junk for dirt cheap and be entertained like that? Oh, that's right, just go to Wal-Mart. I'm just saying...

The butcher, the baker, the reggae beat maker...

One of my favorite local bands are the trio called East Wave Radio, a reggae band that plays the local circuit. They spent the better part of April touring across Canada with Jah Cutter, a fairly well known (in Canada) reggae musician. Towards the end of the tour the boys got into a pretty bad car accident while driving their van from one tour stop to the next. They were attempting to pass a slower moving car when the van lost control on the slick roads and sent them into the ditch, tossing both Johnny and Dave out of the van. The guys were left in critical but stable condition. Unfortunately for the guys, this happened in Canada, a long way from home and family, and the hospital bills quickly started piling up. The good news though is that the great friends and family back in Portland stepped up and put forth an amazing effort to help the guys raise some money to get them back on their feet quickly.

Our friends Nate Drinkwater and Angie Galvin, among many others did a tremendous job putting together a two day benefit at the Big Easy, with like a dozen bands playing music over the course of the two days, all at no charge. There was a silent auction with tons of great items donated by great people and local businesses, as well as a raffle with a boatload of great gift certificates from local retailers and eateries, all donated to the cause.

We stopped in for a few hours last night to check it all out, and these guys did an amazing job. Nichole and I got a chance to catch up with the old gang and spent a few minutes chatting with Johnny from East Wave Radio. What a blast. Sly Chi, Marion Grace and Paranoid Social Club were just a few of the great bands playing last night. For a fan of the local music scene here in Portland, it was a great event. I want to personally thank and congratulate Nate, Angie and everyone else that set it up, awesome job guys! I'm just saying...

Here's a fun(ny) rumor I recently heard...

As you all know, I'm a pretty big basketball fan. My beloved Boston Celtics are playing the Orlando Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals right now, after just taking out the Cleveland Cavaliers. Speaking of Cleveland, the talk of the NBA right now is all Lebron James, all the time. He is considered by many the best player in the game right now. His contract is up and he has the chance to leave town for a chance to try to lead a new team to a championship after failing several times to bring a title to Cleveland. They were the team to beat this year and they were ousted in the second round by the older Celtics. So what happened?

I'm not one to believe anything I read in gossip columns or on gossip related web sites, but this is just too funny. Word on the street is there was a bit of controversy in the locker room before Game 4. I can't confirm nor deny this rumor, but supposedly Lebron found out that Delonte West, the backup point guard, was sleeping with his mother. If this is true, this is one of the funniest things I have ever heard! Now, I don't know Delonte personally, but if you have ever seen him before, he looks like quite the thug. He is covered in, what appear to be, homemade tattoos. It literally looks like a 4 year old was given a pen and told to draw all over him. It's really bad. No, seriously, it's really bad.

Again, I'm not sure I believe this rumor. I just think it is incredibly funny and worth passing along. My understanding is that West is sort of a punk and a loose cannon, so it isn't exactly far fetched. I'm sure we will never know for sure if this is true or not, but you can bet that Lebron won't be trying to get Delonte to follow him to his new team in Chicago next season. I'm just saying...

Dear Knox County "Republicans", grow up!

The Republican State Convention was held at the Portland Expo, on Park Avenue, near the King Middle School, last weekend. Party members from Knox County caucused in a classroom used by eighth-grade social studies teacher Paul Clifford. On Monday morning, when Clifford returned to his classroom, he found that a favorite poster about the U.S. labor movement had been taken and replaced with a bumper sticker that read, "Working People Vote Republican." A little while later, Clifford found out that his classroom had been searched. Republicans who had attended the convention called Principal Mike McCarthy to complain about "anti-American" things they saw there, including a closed box containing copies of the U.S. Constitution that were published by the American Civil Liberties Union.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't I be in trouble for not only removing, but stealing this teachers poster? Wouldn't I also be in trouble for rifling through the teachers belongings? Tell me why we aren't penalizing these "adults" for committing these stupid acts?! Take politics out of the equation, the fact that they are politicians isn't the point, the point is that these individuals took it upon themselves to remove or replace items in the classroom because they didn't agree with them. I don't care what you believe in, you are in a classroom, where a teacher is enriching the minds of our future, where Clifford is responsible for following an Expeditionary Learning curriculum, which encourages students to investigate subjects in depth and from all angles.

I think another problem here is that the Knox County Republicans called the school to complain that Clifford had "anti American" propaganda in the classroom. Can somebody please tell me when the U.S. Constitution became anti American? Maybe I am missing something here?! These same politicians were upset, saying that Clifford was "brainwashing the kids" because they didn't approve of some of the things they saw. So they took things down and put up stickers that were pro-Republican. To me, that goes further towards convincing kids to think a certain way. If I'm taught to see two different views, I'm more likely to form an open opinion, allowing both sides to make a point before I come to a conclusion. If I see someone deface property and act like an idiot, I'm more likely to sway to the opposite side of the knucklehead. So, at the end of the day, these fools probably did themselves far more harm than good. I'm just saying...

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!

For those of you who follow the blog and read on Tuesday when I talked about how I was having a bad day because I couldn't get my printer to work, well, Wednesday kicked Tuesday's ass! I woke up shortly before the alarm was set to go off to use the bathroom. I decided to lay back down and try to catch a few more minutes of shut eye before the horrible sound of the alarm woke me for the day. One hour and nine minutes later I roll over and look out the window. A sense of nervousness takes over my body and I reach for my cell phone to see what time it was. Ah, crap! I woke up an hour later than normal, which isn't a huge deal, except that I need to shower, make lunches and snacks for the day, bring Kerrigan over to her mother's house and get gas for the car. I wake up Kerrigan and tell her to get moving, ask Nichole to make snacks and lunches for me and go to jump in the shower...

DAMNIT!

Quick flashback. We have been having issues with our furnace running all day, even when the thermostats are turned all the way down. To remedy that, we typically turn our furnace off after our showers in the morning, and then turn it back on before we go to bed at night. On Tuesday night, when we got home from work, we walked in to a very warm house, so we turned the furnace off. When I woke up late on Wednesday I didn't turn it back on, so we had no hot water for a minimum of 15 minutes. At this point I have no choice but to pack Kerrigan's snack, grab her and go.

Just before I get ready to head out the door, Nichole yells up from the basement, and I quote, "did it rain last night?". Shit, that can't be good! It certainly didn't rain last night, but we had a basement full of water! You have got to be freaking kidding me! I run downstairs and the water is all over the place. We had three loads of laundry that were either in the washing machine or on the floor in front of the washer that were now, not only still dirty, but soaking wet. The good news is that nothing got ruined, the bad news is we have a very wet basement and neither one of us has a clue how to get into the inner workings of the washing machine, and even if we did, we don't know what the heck we are looking for!

Well, I had to leave. I have to get gas, as the gas light came on the night before, so there is one thing that slows me down. On two separate occasions I have a cop following me, causing me to go the speed limit. Then we get stuck behind a school bus for a few miles. If it could go wrong, it did. I go as fast as I am able to and get back home at 8:00 AM. I head back downstairs to tinker with the washer. I tear it all apart and can't quite figure out what is going on. We decide to call a friend to have him come check it out, see if he can determine what the deal is. Turns out it was something simple, it was a bobby pin caught, not allowing the spin cycle to happen correctly, causing water to continue to fill and spill over the top and pour out. Lesson learned, take two seconds to make sure pockets are empty before washing begins. Thursday has to be better, right? I'm just saying...

One of those days...

I know the answer, even before I ask the question, but I'm going to toss it out there just the same. You ever have one of those days? You know, the kind where nothing really goes the way you want it to. You hop in the shower only to realize you are out of soap. You pour a giant cup of coffee only to find no creamer in the fridge. You are running late for work and have to stop for gas for fear of having to "Flintstone's" your car down I295. You know what I'm talking about. Well, my day isn't quite to that level, but it is awful damn close.

Fortunately my day didn't hit that level until I walked into the office. Today was supposed to be the day I finished up the monthly reports, went over our insurance policies, cleaned up my email and reconciled some accounts. However, my computer is doing everything it can to work against me today. My printer, the single most important piece of equipment for me today, is being a jackass. I've tried swapping out with 3 other printers, all being giant piles of crap as well. Now I'm all flustered and cranky and my day is spinning out of control. I'm still getting stuff done, but not having the ability to print is putting a damper on things.

To make matters worse, I am the in house IT guy! I have tried everything I can think of, with no positive results thus far. Guess I will just be saving everything and ordering a new printer this afternoon. While we have plenty of printers sitting around this place, not too many of them work worth a damn, or they are already being used by someone. That on top of the fact that my laptop is the single worst computer in the company isn't helping my cause. I guess that is what I get for still, technically, being the new guy. I'm just saying...

So much happened last weekend, where does one even begin?!

Going into the weekend, I was thinking it would be a fairly low key weekend. There is a lot of outdoor stuff I need to get done, but the weather was looking wet and I figured I would be able to get some minor projects done inside and get out of the house a little do visit with family and friends. Well, it quickly spun out of control, and I am now able to check a few things off the list of "Random Crap Mark Has Done".

Friday night we had invited some friends over to the house to watch the Boston sports trifecta. Well, most everyone either didn't get back to us, or had other plans, and that was probably for the better, especially for the Boston sports fans, as it was plain fugly (f'ing ugly). Fortunately for us, Rori made the trip up for the night. We enjoyed some appetizers and adult beverages late into the evening. Nichole fell asleep, as Nichole often does, on the couch fairly early, so Rori and I decided to watch The Big Lebowski, and play a little drinking game. Each time The Dude took a drink, we took a drink. It started out slow, but I found myself rather intoxicated somewhere around 2 AM, when I ran and dove into bed without saying anything to anyone. This has become my new thing, I just run and pass out, not sure why, but it works for me.

Saturday morning brought rain outside and one nasty hangover inside! I had the cold sweats and a raging headache, damn! For the 100th time I swore to never have another drink again. We move slowly, and eventually head to Freeport to get Nichole to work. I drop her off and head back home to tinker with the lawnmower, weed whacker and get a few other things done. I get cleaned up and head back to Freeport to hang with some friends and watch the Intergalactic Yurt Band at Buck's. The band put on a great show, I tossed back a few tall PBR's and had myself a great time. As the night got a little later, and people got a little more intoxicated, a fight starts to break out. There was a group of guys in from out of town, and they were not all right in the head, trust me. I quickly ran over and grabbed the little man that was instigating things and pulled him aside. He kept telling me that he was fighting in his wife and son's honor, which I reminded him several times was one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. His wife and son were home, safe and sound, and had nothing to do with whatever this knucklehead was looking to fight about. He was drunk and had a nasty case of shortman syndrome. He and his backwoods brethren soon left and the crisis was averted.

Well, I hung around after Buck's closed to help with the clean up efforts, and when everything was all set, Nichole and I drove home her fellow bartender for the evening, who lives right on our way. He invited us in for a beverage and to help him corale all the chickens and geese into their respective coops. That's right, nothing like chasing livestock at 2 AM after a few beers. We have been thinking about getting some chickens, so it was pretty cool to check it all out. We went back inside and started working on some promotional stuff for Buck's until yours truly started to completely expire. I'm working hard to stay awake and then I notice that the clock says that it was 3:30 AM! Damn, we gots to go home! Another night where I run and dive into bed.

I felt great the next morning, despite the short night. We got up, went to the Market at Pineland, got some fresh meats and cheeses, then went to the New Gloucester Community Market, which is a chance for local vendors to sell their wares, be it fresh produce, meats, cheeses or flowers. It was very cool, and we found some really nice flowers for my mother. We went back home, I cooked a wonderful breakfast of farm fresh eggs (from the chickens we hung out with the night before), bacon from a local farm and some Big Sky English Muffin bread (amazing by the way). Refreshed with full bellies, we head down to Portland for our softball game, which we won with a late inning comeback. After softball we headed up to Yarmouth for some fine dining at the Royal River Grillhouse for Mother's Day. We had a great visit, enjoyed our meal and made our way home where we quickly crashed on the couch shortly after 9 PM.

Looking back, it was a great weekend. Like I said, I had every intention to have a low key weekend where I got some things accomplished. It didn't work out quite like that, but it sure was a blast. I would like to think that this week will be a little mellow for a chance to catch up on sleep, but it's already shaping up to be a busy one. I'm just saying...

My mower couldn't cut its way out of a bag made of grass...

I really enjoy mowing the lawn and doing other yard work. It is very rewarding, a great way to enjoy a beautiful day, and can also be good exercise. Well, it's that time of year, you know, the time where the grass grows so quickly you basically finish and have to start cutting it again. We were mad busy last summer and I, admittedly, didn't do a very good job keeping up with the lawn. I have vowed to have the best looking yard in the neighborhood this year, and I am off to a horrible start! I have mowed once, but the grass is creeping up on hayfield levels and I am running into problems with my damn mower again.

We bought this mower new a couple of summers ago. We have a fairly basic lawn, bordering on too big for a push mower and too small for a rider, but there is nothing about our lawn that should cause too much stress for the push mower we have. I cut the grass with said mower a couple of weekends ago, with very few problems. I then attempted to get it done last weekend and was unable to get more than a pass or two done before the mower would stall. I would give it a break, maybe 10 minutes, then go back and get a couple more strips of the lawn done before it stalled again. After spending about an hour and a half, getting not even half of the front lawn complete, I push the mower back into the basement, mumbling many a curse word under my breath, and call it a day.

Well, I pulled the mower back out last night in an attempt to, at the very least, finish the front lawn last night, and I had more of the same problems. It starts up, runs sluggish for about 2 minutes, then stalls out. It has fresh, new oil in it, I have gassed it up and I have it set on the highest setting, so the length of grass shouldn't cause it to get too stressed out. What the flipping crap! I'm going to tear it apart tonight and clean it out, see if there is a family of mice living inside of the carburetor. I mean, the mower is only two years old, and I barely used it last summer. It can't be dying on me already. I'm trying to decide if it makes more sense to fix it, buy a new push, or take the plunge and buy a used rider. Either way, our lawn is getting close to the point where the dog will completely disappear when he goes out to drop a steamer. I'm just saying...

Let's celebrate the Mexicans! Well, some of us...

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, I wanted to give a little shout out to our neighbors to the south of the border. We crazy Americans celebrate this Tequila and Corona infused holiday by, well, drinking. Cantina's across this nation will be pouring many a margarita today. At our house, we probably won't be tossing back any drinks, but we will be enjoying some fine tacos as our little tribute. Other people have different tributes in mind...

The Phoenix Suns are honoring Mexico in a different way, and I really like it. They will be wearing their "Los Suns" jerseys for tonight's game against the San Antonio Spurs. They want to honor the rich Latino tradition in Arizona, as well as the rest of the nation, including the sporting community. They also want to make a political point, as they find the new law there flawed. Steve Nash, point guard for the Suns, summed it up well, "I think the law is very misguided. I think it's, unfortunately, to the detriment of our society and our civil liberties. I think it's very important for us to stand up for things we believe in. As a team and as an organization, we have a lot of love and support for all of our fans. The league is very multicultural. We have players from all over the world, and our Latino community here is very strong and important to us." I just adopted the Suns as my team in the Western Conference, I think it is great that they are making a statement.

So, in honor of our Mexican friends to the south, raise your shot of Jose Cuervo, your taco or your Corona, and thank them for giving us another drinking holiday in the states. Which reminds me, does everyone say they are Mexican on Cinco de Mayo, kinda like everyone claims to be Irish on St Patty's Day? If so, better carry your papers! I'm just saying...

Getting back in the groove...

I've been missing in action for a bit, and for that I am very sorry. Between working a handful of jobs, working on projects at the house and watching all the Boston sports, I've been a little busy. Well, I'm back, and I have some thoughts and opinions to toss at ya.

Bruins/Celtics playoff games - I love this time of year when it comes to sports. The Celtics have finally woken up. The Bruins are back to playing angry hockey. We have had so much fun watching these teams so far, and we are hoping to see it continue. Rondo is, hands down, my favorite player to watch. I still don't understand why he doesn't get the national attention he deserves. The Celtics go nowhere without him.

Clean, baby clean - This is the exact reason some people aren't excited about drilling for oil close to home. The gulf coast is now a mess, and the cleanup could take a long time. We need to spend a few minutes determining new forms of clean energy. As technologically advanced as we are, why haven't we figured out how to fuel automobiles with leftover food scraps or old t-shirts (ridiculous example, but you get the point). We have got to shift our need for oil to something cleaner and sustainable, now!

NYC "bomb" attempt - So, apparently, a novice bomb maker attempted to set off a car bomb in Times Square in NYC. A US citizen, originally from Pakistan, was arrested for driving a bomb-laden SUV meant to cause a fireball in Times Square. The bomb didn't go off, as a patron at a local restaurant noticed smoke billowing from the vehicle outside and called police. Fortunately nothing happened, and the suspect is in police custody. The Pakistani Taliban is taking credit for the botched bomb attempt, but the suspect in custody is claiming to have acted alone. Weak attempt, thank god.

17 year old Phillies fan tasered for running on the field - It happens all the time, fans run out onto the field of play during a baseball game. They run around for a few seconds, have no place to hide, and get caught, arrested, and sometimes banned for life from stadiums. This kid in Philly got more than he expected. Just before running out onto the field, he called his father to ask him for permission. Dad, logically, said it wasn't a good idea. Like most 17 year olds, he didn't listen to his father's advice. He ran out onto the field, and after a short run got nailed with the taser. A bit excessive in my opinion. He can't go anywhere, just tackle him and lead him out in cuffs, you don't need to pump him full of electrical shocks. Either way, makes for an amazing picture...



Just a few thoughts taking up space in my nogin today. I'm just saying...