The following are a handful of things that have been bothering me lately. Thought I would share with you some of the things that keep me up at night. For those of you who watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart on Comedy Central (or Hulu.com), picture the following said in the same manner as the "Back in Black" segments with Lewis Black. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, you are missing out...
Taxes. We are talking about taxes. Why does it have to be so damned difficult to understand?! Dumb it down for me, I don't understand all the mumbo jumbo. I pay in all year long, so I should get a chunk back at the end of the year, right? Well, it never freaking works out that way! It should be like a bottle deposit. When I buy my afternoon sugar free Red Bull, I pay an extra nickel for a deposit. When I return my Red Bull can later that month, I get that nickel back. That seems pretty straightforward to me. Why can't taxes be that simple?
What is it with ancient rockers playing the Super Bowl? I mean, yeah, The Who were really good during their time, but let's all be honest, they aren't exactly in their prime. Speaking of not in their prime, didn't anybody else see Pete Townshend's stomach hanging out from under his shirt, yikes! Why can't the NFL get a younger recording artist? Why not Taylor Swift or Lady Gaga? I mean, I really don't care, I'm not watching the halftime show anyways, I already know it is going to be over hyped and underperformed, so I guess it doesn't really matter to me. Just seems odd that the NFL continues to push past their prime performers out there year after year.
Has anyone seen the movie Bruno? It's another one of the character's played by Sacha Baron Cohen, better known as the man behind Borat and Ali G. For anyone that has seen his show on HBO, The Ali G Show, it was a riot. The movie Borat is one of the funniest movies I have seen. Then, there is the movie Bruno. This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen (if I can use that term, since I forced myself to fall asleep about 7 minutes into it). This movie made gay porn look tame. I would normally demand those 7 minutes of my life back that I actually spent watching it, but I appreciate that it forced me to go to bed earlier than I otherwise would have. If you haven't seen it yet, don't, unless of course you want to see more penis than a room full of, well, you get the point.
Sarah Palin. Tea Party Movement. Those five words are exactly what we don't need, however they are both being shoved in our face constantly right now. In a time when Democrats and Republicans need to come together more than ever before, Sarah Palin and her buddies, the Teabaggers, are doing everything they can to stir the proverbial pot. I'm pretty sure I can say that the bulk of Americans are tired of all the fighting in Washington and are anxious to see some things get done. However, Mrs. Palin is seeing this as an opportunity to get herself a little following of confused, upset people, and have them spew all their venom at the president. I think my favorite part of the whole convention is when she talks about how she is tired of the president being a "PROFESSOR OF LAW STANDING AT THE LECTERN!". Well, to all you teabaggers out there (is that the best name you could come up with?), that is exactly what she did to you guys for 41 minutes. Oh, and the whole jab at Obama for using a teleprompter, big flipping deal. At least he didn't have to write notes on his hand in marker, with one of the words crossed out?!
This is gonna get me in trouble with my lovely wife, but I have one last thing to ponder. What is the deal with this Bachelor show on ABC? Something about this concept doesn't add up for me. Take one single guy and toss a bunch of ladies at him, and have him try to whittle it down to the woman he is going to marry. OK, so the dude is "dating around" and working his way through the ladies. Then, as it gets closer to the end, he has now sort of fallen for each of them, and they have fallen in love with him. Leaving him to break hearts and potentially get his own heart broken too. Oh, and the ladies all live together during this process. Think of all the name calling and cat fights they don't show. Nothing about that makes sense to me. Fortunately it coincides with Big Monday on ESPN, so there is always college basketball on for me to watch in the other room. I'm just saying...
About Me
- Mark
- I've always wondered if people actually read this stuff. I never do when I'm on other pages. Well, in case, for some strange reason, you find it necessary, I'll give you a little knowledge. I was born in The County. For those of you who don't konw better, that would be Aroostook County. For those of you who do, your jokes won't work on me, they are lame. I'm the son of an investment banker that squandered his every penny on tuna fish sandwiches in the late 80's, and my mother was the lead singer for the Bangles. Neither of those is true, but again, I'm convinced nobody is reading this anyways. I met my wife at a carnival, and we were married by the bearded lady in front of the entire clown brigade. I have a daughter who is training for the 2012 Olympics where she will compete in the Triple Jump and Javelin. We live in a nice little shanty in the woods and are hoping to one day have running water. Any questions?
