Saturday was a pretty busy day for us. I had to do the usual run to the transfer station, get the car washed, return our bottles and get ready for Nichole's big birthday bash at Rivalries. Add to that the fact that we had friends at the house, Nichole had plans to get a little shopping in, and we all had lunch plans we were looking to keep, all while maintaining a departure time of 6:30 to ensure on time arrival that evening at Rivalries. As many of you know, hell, you all know, Nichole and I aren't know for our punctuality. We don't need any reason, no matter how small, to slow us down. Well, we got that and then some on Saturday, around noon thirty. Here is some background info...
Last Monday night, the phone rings and it is a Maine cell phone number. Assuming it is one of our friends calling the house, I answer it, only to have that annoying pause, then a distant sounding voice ask me if I have a minute to do a quick survey. Now, I don't normally do these sorts of things, I typically say no thanks and hang up, but because of it being a local number, I decided to give it a try. It lasted about 3 minutes, asking just a few questions, mainly about cleaning products, more specifically, about our vacuum. They ended the call with the usual "we will be selecting a lucky caller to win a prize, so if we select your name, we will get back to you". Sure, sounds good, as if they would ever call me back. Well, Thursday night they call back, informing me that I have won. Sweet, now which do I prefer, the air purifier or the steak knife set? Aromatic air purifier sounds fun, let's go with that one I say. "Sounds good, we will bring it to your house between 12 and 12:30 on Saturday". Now, keep in mind I didn't give them our address, so I assume this is all over with and it basically left my brain at that point.
Fast forward to Saturday. I'm in Gray, washing the car with my buddy when Nichole calls with panic in her voice. The guy with our prize is there and I need to come home right now! Well, I tell her to have him present the prize to her and we are all set, right? Nope, not even close. I finish cleaning the car and head home, only to find this dude's car still in the driveway. I found this a little odd, but whatever, I'm home, he can give us our prize then be on his way. I was wrong again.
Ever heard of the company HYLA? Neither had I. Dick, the HYLA salesman spent the next two hours giving us this corny-ass presentation, describing how horrible regular vacuums are and how we are slowly killing ourselves by spreading germs, dust mites and dust and breathing it, and how the HYLA eliminates that. The HYLA is a vacuum that uses water as a filter, as opposed to bag filters like regular vacuums, and they claim it is much cleaner and better for your health in the long run. Now, I don't necessarily doubt him, the presentation made sense to me. I was close to being sold on it, but I had absolutely NO intention to buy it then and there. I like doing a little light reading before making decisions, check out Consumer Reports or even just scour the net to see what people have to say about them. Well, as we get to the end of the presentation (oh, and Nichole totally left me out to dry on this one, leaving to finish getting ready for the day) he finally gets to the price of the product. Any guesses? $500? $1000? Nope, this fancy little do-hicky comes in at a cool $2688!!! Are you freaking shitting me?! Oh, but he did offer me $500 off for sitting through the presentation. Wow! Well, let's just say he wasn't accepting no as an answer, but you better believe that is what he got!
He spent the next ten minutes trying to come up with a way that I would purchase the machine. He offered delayed payments starting in three months. He tried everything, and you could see his frustration level rising as I continued to say no to him. Then he started the guilt trip. Now, I come from a Catholic family, guilt trips are used often, I'm used to them, and I have learned to ignore them. Well, good ole Dick is pretty angry at me at this point. He says, "well, I guess I will have to clean this thing out, I just assumed I would be leaving it here with you." Dude, I'm sorry, maybe you should have yourself a display model?! Then he thrashes around in the sink, cleaning it out, using damn near a roll of our paper towels. After spending about 20 minutes cleaning it out and putting it all back in the box he is finally on his way, right? Not just yet...
Our "prize", the air purifier, has a variety of scents that can be added to the water to deodorize the room it is in. He put a splash of something in when showing us how it worked, so one bottle of the four pack had been opened. Now, normally the four pack of scents sells for $25, but because he cracked one of them open, he would sell us the four pack for just $21, what a steal! Well, I told him I couldn't afford to buy it because we just had a few bucks left and planned on using that later that evening when we went out to party. Now, this wasn't true, but he didn't need to know the difference. As he loaded up his goods, he made sure to make fun of me about a dozen times for being too broke to even afford the scents, saying I need a new job or to get a raise. Finally he was out the door, all his stuff in hand with his tail between his legs, unable to make a sale. That dude should have just given us the damn scents, considering he just f*cked us out of two hours of our lives, while we had company and we made it abundantly clear that we had places to go and things to do.
Now, what is the moral of the story? Never do a survey over the phone, even if it is from a Maine number. You will lose two hours of your life, get picked on and lose a roll of paper towels, and that is just not worth it. I'm just saying...
About Me
- Mark
- I've always wondered if people actually read this stuff. I never do when I'm on other pages. Well, in case, for some strange reason, you find it necessary, I'll give you a little knowledge. I was born in The County. For those of you who don't konw better, that would be Aroostook County. For those of you who do, your jokes won't work on me, they are lame. I'm the son of an investment banker that squandered his every penny on tuna fish sandwiches in the late 80's, and my mother was the lead singer for the Bangles. Neither of those is true, but again, I'm convinced nobody is reading this anyways. I met my wife at a carnival, and we were married by the bearded lady in front of the entire clown brigade. I have a daughter who is training for the 2012 Olympics where she will compete in the Triple Jump and Javelin. We live in a nice little shanty in the woods and are hoping to one day have running water. Any questions?
