Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What does your car say about you? Apparently I'm a hot college chick!

What a person drives for a car can say a lot about them. A person's car is sort of a status symbol, a way to tell people who you are and what you believe in. Bumper stickers are a way of adding to the overall picture.

Political stickers tell you a decent amount right off the bat. A New York sports team sticker tells us you are a douche. "Baby on Board" or "My kid is on the honor roll at ______ School" let's us know you have kids, and let's be honest, nobody gives a rat's ass what your kids grades are. Your car climbed Mt Washington? Don't care, in fact, nobody does. Some people are into the stickers where some cartoonish character is urinating on a Ford logo, or a Chevy logo, or even a sports teams logo. Really? You want a pissing kid on your back window? I've even seen rubber testicles hanging from bumpers before. Wish I was kidding, that wasn't even right.

Anyways, back to the actual car. What kind of car do you drive? In my driveway we have a Honda CRV. Not really sure what that says about us. We also have a VW Jetta. I was told this morning that this car is what hot college chicks drive. Cool! I always thought hippies drove VW's, but apparently this particular VW is meant to be driven by barely legal hotties. Could be worse, I guess.

What do other cars say about a person?

Hummer - Dude with something to compensate for. Chances are he is short and / or lacking in the groin region. There is nothing wrong with that, it's just obvious that he is trying to make up for something by driving such a monstrous machine. Why else would anyone drive a car that only gets about 15 miles per gallon? You probably have a "McCain/Palin" sticker on your bumper.

Mini Van - Soccer/Hockey mom. Chances are you have multiple children, at least one of which you are driving all over the place for practices and games, carrying a fair amount of equipment for said sport. You probably have one of those damn "honor roll" stickers on the back, ugh.

Prius - Earth conscious hippy. Regardless of how long your commute is, you don't want to spend much on gas, and you would rather shop at Whole Foods than Wal-Mart. This will probably be our next car for those reasons and more. These people typically have "Obama/Biden" or "Buy Local" stickers on them.

Giant, American made pickup truck - These are usually driven by guys that own carpentry and other trade businesses. You see lots of them on the highway each morning, heading to the job site. Usually there are 2-3 big, burly dudes inside, ripping butts and drinking Mt Dew. Often times you will find stickers referring to testicles, farts or your mother on their bumpers.

What others am I missing? When you bought your car, you did so for a reason, let me know why. Also, if I'm wrong, well, let's be honest, I'm pretty spot on. Remember, we have a 35 minute commute each way, we see it all every day. I'm just saying...