The news is horrible right now. So much doom and gloom is being reported. Add to that the crappy weather heading our way thanks to Hurricane Nicole, and there isn't much reason to smile on the New England coast today. The Red Sox have been officially eliminated from playoff contention, after a rather difficult season. The Patriots are in full swing, but face a tough test in Miami, where they always struggle. As the greatest coach in Boston Celtics history (sarcasm), Rick Pitino, once said, the negativity in this town sucks. Let's look at the headlines for something a little less depressing...
U.S. apologizes for syphilis experiment in Guatemala. This is real, I swear. The U.S. government, in the 1940's, deliberately infected Guatemalan prison inmates, women and mental patients with syphilis. Now, 70 years later, whoops, our bad?! Should we send them a card? And does Hallmark make a "sorry about the syphilis" card?
Saving Koalas From Chlamydia. Again, this is real, no joke. Apparently the number of koalas with chlamydia is increasing too. I ask this, how exactly does this happen? Note to self, even though they are cute, don't sleep with a koala.
Dutch outlaw squatting. Apparently this doesn't mean anything even close to what I first thought when I saw the headline. I assumed you weren't allowed to sit while going to the bathroom in the Netherlands, which is an odd thing to outlaw, right? Turns out, it means that you are no longer allowed to move into an abandoned building and call it yours. Wait, people were allowed to do that? Talk about cheap office space for your new marijuana cafe! Unfortunately, I missed the bus on that one.
Greg Giraldo dies at 44; quit law to become a stand-up comic. No jokes here, this is actually sad. He was a really funny guy, appearing on the celebrity roasts on Comedy Central, among many other places. He graduated from Columbia University and got a law degree from Harvard. Dude wasn't just funny, he was smart. Turns out, he hated law, and made a much better comedian. Another great comedian taken too soon from a drug overdose, why can't we lose Carrot Top or Andy Dick instead?
That's about all I've got for today. Weekend is upon us, and it is a crazy one. Early mornings, late nights, Red Sox vs Yankees at Fenway and another trip to Eagle's Deli should provide me with a story or two for next week. Have a great weekend all. I'm just saying...
About Me
- Mark
- I've always wondered if people actually read this stuff. I never do when I'm on other pages. Well, in case, for some strange reason, you find it necessary, I'll give you a little knowledge. I was born in The County. For those of you who don't konw better, that would be Aroostook County. For those of you who do, your jokes won't work on me, they are lame. I'm the son of an investment banker that squandered his every penny on tuna fish sandwiches in the late 80's, and my mother was the lead singer for the Bangles. Neither of those is true, but again, I'm convinced nobody is reading this anyways. I met my wife at a carnival, and we were married by the bearded lady in front of the entire clown brigade. I have a daughter who is training for the 2012 Olympics where she will compete in the Triple Jump and Javelin. We live in a nice little shanty in the woods and are hoping to one day have running water. Any questions?
