Thursday, October 21, 2010

Are we all doomed, or is this just our "awkward phase"?

It's pretty hard to deny that we, in the United States, are all going a bit crazy. Reality television, constant media "news" outlets and our love of all things celebrity have gotten, let's be honest, a little out of hand. Suddenly everyone is crying that they are losing their First Amendment rights and we are suing everyone for little to no reason at all. At what point do we realize we have turned into a giant, never ending episode of The Jerry Springer Show? I mean, seriously, what gives? Musicians are nuts, politicians are bat shit insane, athletes do whatever the hell they want, and the rest of us follow their every move. What the hell is wrong with us, all of us?

Those examples are national, stupid shit isn't happening right here in Maine, is it? Well, I'm afraid it is...

A Hermon High School student was just expelled from school for penning a rap song, to the beat of an Eminem song, that was full of poop mouthery and even called out school employees by name. Some are claiming that the lyrics are even threatening. Now, I haven't heard this sure to be number 1 gem, but methinks it was a dumb idea in the first place. The student is claiming the school is not allowing him to exercise his First Amendment rights, claiming it is free speech. I would say this in response: kid, you're an idiot! I have no problem with him doing it, feel free. Just don't be surprised when your school, the target of your rap, hears it and expels you. Put it this way, if you wrote a rap song about your employers and called out co-workers and ownership by name, are they going to give you a raise, or will they move your office to the basement and take away your stapler? Long story short, don't be dumb.

Portland High School has banned "grinding" from all future dances, and students are pissed about it. Many students are planning to boycott the dances because, well, they say grinding is the only way they know how to dance. First of all, sweet jesus, are you serious? Let's get one thing straight, I'm not a future candidate for Dancing With the Stars, mainly because I'm not a star, but also because I can't dance, but to boycott a dance because you can't drive your male pelvic region into a lady friends ass is crazy! Perhaps part of their curriculum should be actual dance lessons?!

Those are just a couple of local examples of the silliness that is happening all around us. In other words, we really need to take a minute and get our collective shit together! Remember when we were a super power in the world? Yeah, people think we are a joke now. I say we stop giving lunatics their 15 minutes of fame, end the frivolous lawsuits and sit back and enjoy a nice cold beer. It'll make the world a better place. I'm just saying...