Monday, December 14, 2009

Another day, another top 10 list... Top 10 Scandals of the last 10 years...

Ah, scandals. Everyone loves them. Think about it, we are glued to the television, radio or Internet whenever something negative happens to somebody, especially celebrities. It's like some sort of validation that they are human, just like us. It's that whole "car accident effect", where you want to look away, but you just can't get enough of it. Anyone care to take a trip down celebrity scandal lane with me?

10. Martha Stewart goes to jail - Everyones favorite home maker got herself all caught up in some insider trading, as she dumped some stocks just before they crashed. Coincidence? I think so, and here is why. Martha Stewart could kick my ass, so if she were to ever read this, I don't want to give her a reason to dislike me!

9. Michael Phelps Pot Smoking Video - The United States swimmer extraordinaire got himself all stoned at a party, ripping bong hits with some randoms, only to have someone snap some pics of him in the act. Maybe next time he should be a little more careful, like, just smoke a joint, less obvious?!

8. AIG's post bailout spa retreat - Just plain dumb. What more can be said. We are a sinking financial institution, oh, thanks for the money, now let's get some company paid retreat time in, we have earned it! Good call morons.

7. Spygate - The Patriots were accused of video taping their opponents practice, which was said to give them an unfair advantage over the opposition. First of all, everyone is/was doing it. Second of all, it's not like they didn't know everything from watching film from previous games anyways. This was a huge deal because former Patriots coach Mangina (who was coaching the Jets at the time) was trying to get back at his former boss, and his team was horrible, so this was all he had.

6. Michael Richards, "The Racist" - Turns out our beloved Kramer is a touch racist. Not exactly his best stand up attempt, and he pretty much killed what little possibility he ever had of getting back into show business that night. At least Seinfeld was a good run for him.

5. Don Imus - "Nappy Headed Hos" - Speaking of racists, here comes dunderhead Don Imus. On his radio show, which, let's be honest, nobody listens to, he was talking about the Rutgers women's basketball team and referred to them as "nappy headed hos". The old man was never funny, and apparently not very smart either. In a world of hyper sensitivity towards everything race related, why would he do something so stupid. Apparently his cowboy hat is a bit too tight.

4. Michael Jackson's death - I'll never forget where I was when I heard about this. I was sipping a Red Stripe on the deck at the Port Hole. Still can't believe he passed away. His death isn't so much a scandal, but the manner in which he died may just be. His personal doctor is in the middle of everything, and there is a laundry list of prescription drugs involved. He may have been a mess, but I still love his music.

3. Michael Vick has no love for his dogs - Mr. Vick got himself all caught up in a dog fighting circle, contributing cash and dogs to the outfit. The fallout was pretty bad for him, spending time in jail, getting cut from the Atlanta Falcons, even trying to file for bankruptcy. As a dog owner, and someone with a brain in my head, I realize how bad an idea this sort of thing is. Guess this is what happens when you take a thug, with a rough bunch of buddies, and give him millions.

2. Wardrobe Malfunction - Nipplegate. TV Tit shot. Another Jackson, another big story. Did Justin Timberlake rip Janet Jackson's shirt on purpose, or did her booby just pop out of her top? Either way, millions saw Jackson's titty on national television, during halftime of the Super Bowl. Oops, tit, mistake...

1. Tiger Woods and the 12 mistresses - Who knew Tiger Woods was a dirty little freak. He has lady friends all over the place apparently. He will get down to business anywhere too, like the back of a car in a church parking lot. He has pretty low standards too, with a couple of ladies being strippers (sorry to all my stripper friends out there). Oh, and by the way, his wife is drop dead gorgeous! I'm sorry Tiger, but you done screwed up, big time!

There are lots of others I could have included on the list, but these are my favorites. Agree? Disagree? Let me know. Oh, and I want to thank all of the above people for making me look like an angel in comparison! I'm just saying...