The morning commute, especially during the winter, can be a big old bitch sometimes. Take this morning for example. The typical morning commute takes us about 35 minutes. Today took us a smidge over an hour. Why does this happen? This morning there was a small fender bender involving 3 cars, all of which were pulled off to the side, in nobody's way, and traffic never went faster than 22 mph, and that was for all of half a second. Again, I remind you that nobody was actually obstructing traffic. No debris, no copper in the road merging traffic into one lane, just a bunch of douche bags rubbernecking, hoping to see some carnage. Listen up people, rent a damn movie to see some blood, don't ruin my commute with your inability to use your gas peddle properly with the hope that you see someone getting removed from their wrecked car via the jaws of life. I'm on the road because I have somewhere to go.
On a funny note (at least in my head), we did see a woman pulled over to the side of the road and walking through the woods back to her car. I can only assume she was pooping, right?! Her coffee and fiber-filled oatmeal ran through her like a hot knife through butter and with all that slow moving traffic she just couldn't hold it any more. I understand, who hasn't dropped their pants on the side of the road before?
About Me
- Mark
- I've always wondered if people actually read this stuff. I never do when I'm on other pages. Well, in case, for some strange reason, you find it necessary, I'll give you a little knowledge. I was born in The County. For those of you who don't konw better, that would be Aroostook County. For those of you who do, your jokes won't work on me, they are lame. I'm the son of an investment banker that squandered his every penny on tuna fish sandwiches in the late 80's, and my mother was the lead singer for the Bangles. Neither of those is true, but again, I'm convinced nobody is reading this anyways. I met my wife at a carnival, and we were married by the bearded lady in front of the entire clown brigade. I have a daughter who is training for the 2012 Olympics where she will compete in the Triple Jump and Javelin. We live in a nice little shanty in the woods and are hoping to one day have running water. Any questions?
